Nothing at all
by The Black Gryphon
Summary: My first songfic for Trigun. Based on the song 'Nothing at all' by santana.... Wolfwood ponders about his relationship with Millie.... WXM


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Hiya all you people! This is my first trigun fic so I am worried about some of the characters being OOC. Apologies in advance if they are! If it's not clear, this is based off of the Anime, not the manga (in which Wolfwood survives! YAY!). I Guess I wrote this after hearing 'Nothing at all' by Santana. It freaked me out how the lyrics almost perfectly fit Wolfwood and his situations! Anyway, please Review.... Please?

And for those who know about my RK fics... ummm...... I'm WORKING on it!

Disclaimer: Me no own Wolfwood or trigun..... *sniffle*

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Nothing at all

~By the black gryphon

~~Song by: Santana & Musiq

I am a victim of my time

A product of my age

There was no choosing, my direction

Wolfwood sat against the cool rock behind him, wishing that the peaceful moment would of never ended. The night air was warm and the moons that hung over him was looming close. Within the small church, the murmurs of the sleeping children reached his ears. The soft humming of the woman within reached his ears.

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I was a holy man, but now

With all my trials behind me

I am weakened by conviction

The said woman exited the house, her hair falling sloppily out of her bun, her clear blue eyes sparkling with happiness. She glanced around for a second and then sighed as she strode forward. Stopping beside him, she raised her eyes towards the moons, letting the loose hair tie fall from her honeyed tresses and onto the ground. A warm wind teased her hair, leaving Wolfwood to drown in even more sorrow.

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And so I walk

To try and get away

Knowing that someday

I'll finally have to face

The fear that will come 

From knowing that the one thing I had left, was you

And now you're gone

"Please don't look like that, honey" He whispered, aching to touch her in both chaise and passionate ways. But he knew that this was merely a shell, a copy of the woman he had grown to love. Her eyes no longer sparkled with the rare innocence and pure, untainted joy they once held. Now they held a calm yet everlasting sadness. Her voice, once able to brighten the bleakest of days was now soft and nearly nonexistent. True there were days when her happiness was as pure as the day he first met her on that small, uncomfortable bus, but those were few and far apart in the 10 years she had lived on without him. He knew the reason and it wasn't time... It was something else. Ever since that day...

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You are a victim of my cries

A product of my rage

You're a beautiful distraction

(Yeah) See, I got you locked away outside

And let misery provide

And now, I am changed

He could remember her naive questions and her unwavering trust in humanity. Both he and Vash both agreed that there was more to Milly them most, not if all people know met her, saw. She was intelligent and smart, yet she also could see the true hearts of people, the scared and lonely children huddling under steel walls of greed, pain, and cruelty. It was these endearing qualities which drew him, which tickled his curiosity. It threw him off course, confused him, intrigued him and, minorly, angered him. How could a pure person like herself stand to stay in this world without pitying the people around her?

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And so I walk

To try and find some space

Where I can be alone

To live with my mistakes

He supposed it was how he viewed the world, the idea that everything came with a price, big or small. Milly proved him wrong, her sparkling blue eyes drawing him closer and closer. He tried to fight it, but the attraction was there. She was an angel, a being who could do no wrong (other then overreact when there was no pudding, or when someone ruined her pudding), trusting everyone and trying to make the world a better place. He chuckled a bit. He was sure that her childhood was even brighter, filled with happy smiles and laughter. A Far cry from his own. At the age of seven, he had pulled his first trigger, taken his first life. It sure as hell wasn't his last.

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And the fear that will come

From knowing that the one thing I had left, was you

And now you're gone

Heeeey...

He could remember the feeling of a gun slamming black against his hands, the smell of gunpowder lingering in the air. The sight of blood spurting out of a warm body, cooling as it flowed out of a body, slowly slowing down to a mere trickle. It was both a sickening and proud feeling that flooded his mind afterwards. Inside, he imagined, he was a bloodied and torn child who just wanted to cry. To cry for his sanity, his life, for someone to listen.

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(Is there nothing at all)

That I can do to turn your heart

(Is there nothing to lean on?)

That can help me raise the stars

And I can use a little strength before I fall

Is there nothing at all?

Someone DID listen. Milly, the glowing white angel that she was, wrapped soft wings of gossamer feathers (AN: I guess I should mention that THAT idea come from Gossamer feathers and Sweet tasting things... which, by the way, is a great read!) around him, their light numbing the pain. Her voice encouraging him to let it all loose and to confess it all. He found himself clinging to those last shreds of light, treasuring them and chasing after the source against after the ones he had faded away.

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I am a victim of my time

A product of my age

You alone are my obsession

You are the one I left behind

You are heavy on my mind

It's been a lonely road I've traveled

Some would classify it as an obsession, and a completely insane and stupid one if anything. But those people never met Milly. They never had the chance to smell the honeyed ambrosia that was her scent. To peer into the endless depths he could imagine gracing the vast lakes of both Eden and Past Earth. To travel back into the past and to a time where things were simple and filled with calming blues and greens. It was a utopia which he could never fully claim, couldn't visit nor taint, yet the utopia teased him, daring him to claim it as his own.

And so I walk

To try and get away

Knowing that someday

I'll finally have to face

He fought that craving, that need, pushing Milly as far away as he could, physically and emotionally. Yet fate was a cruel trio of mistresses and no matter how far nor how distant he seemed, Milly would get closer and close. She would just smile, blissfully unaware how she was filling his mind every waking moment (and some rather... erotic dreams). The craving to possess her grew stronger and stronger... And one day, one fateful day, he could no longer deny it. He needed Milly in every way. To feel her body around his, to take comfort in her carefree smiles, to love her till the end of eternity.

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The fear that will come

From knowing that the one thing I had left, was you

And now you're gone

She had altered his very way of life so much that he no longer felt proud of killing, only utterly disgusted. She had seen him kill that child... But her eyes held no disgust, no hate, just sadness and disappointment. A few days later, she had visited him, arms full of sandwiches, a soft smile on her lips. What happened afterwards was her laying his bed, withering under his touches. She was truly like ambrosia, a piece of heaven which had escaped from the watchful eyes of god. And what he doing with her? Taking her maiden status and replacing it with his tainted essence. Yet for that one moment, it didn't matter. He remembered how she had cried out his name, their bodies temporally merging and their souls melting together forever. He would of sold his soul to live that night all over again.

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(Is there nothing at all?)

That I can do to turn your heart

(Is there nothing to lean on?)

That can help me raise the stars

And I can use a little strength before I fall

Is there nothing at all?

It never left his mind. It left him wide awake most of the night. (though he had also found out that the sweet Little angel could be a tigress in the bed. He swore he would of slipped into a coma after... what... the 3rd time?) Yet his selfishness would cost a hefty price. He had died the very next day. True, he wanted to go to Eden and wait for his Milly and the others to follow. But the craving lasted even after death. He couldn't just wait for her, he wanted to watch her continue to smile and spread her joy. He never thought his death would cause so much damage to her. Yet it did and even time could never heal it.

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*guitar solo*

Milly was slowly drifting into a peaceful sleep, clutching her knees, looking like the small children she was taking care of for his and her sake. It further endeared the sweet woman to his heart and keeping that flame of love burning. He chuckled a bit as he stood up and brushed his hand across Milly's cheek. No matter what age she was, no matter what mask she wore, she was still Milly, his Milly. Standing up, she started to walk away when there was a soft "Mr. Priest."

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(Is there nothing at all?)

That I can do to turn your heart

(Is there nothing to lean on?)

That can help me raise the stars

And I could use a little strength before I fall

Is there nothing at all?

"Milly?" Wolfwood turned around to find her asleep, a genuine smile on her face. He sighed and walked back so he stood in front of her. Kneeling down, he leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips, knowing she wouldn't feel it, all she would feel is a chill.

"Wolfwood..." She murmured again, " I love you..."

....

"I love you to... My honey..." 


End file.
